Saturday, October 1, 2011

Have you ever felt, um, you know...not so fresh?

Let's all just have a little chat as we enjoy our international coffees.  You know, like we often do when we talk about feminine products...

My Mom has reached the age where she needs a little help to remain independent.  My siblings and I help her with things like shopping, showering, etc. so she is able to remain in her own home.  Recently, I was on shower duty and was surprised to see that she used feminine deodorant powder.  She's 84 years old, my Dad has passed on and unless she is sneaking out at night, her dance card is completely empty.  She bathes regularly and knows no man "in the Biblical" sense.  Why would she ever feel she needs to use feminine deodorant powder??  Marketing.  Damn good marketing. 

Women could never get through the woes of womanhood without many different sizes and shapes of products for all the different days.  Regular and super will never again be adequate for the job.  There are pencils to torpedoes and if you use too much you will get toxic shock syndrome but if you use too little, well you have used too little.  You must have a stock of all sizes to make sure you always have the  perfectly correct sizes.  If you prefer pads, the same holds true and you need to have a plethora of sizes and thicknesses and you might even require wings to get the job done.  The first time I ever saw the commercial where the pad with wings was flying around like a bird, I was sitting on my couch with my teenage son.  Neither of us said a word and we both pretended the other one wasn't there...There are light day products for light days, regular day products for moderate days, super products for heavy days, or actually you may leak something any day so you should just go ahead and where a panty liner every day of your life. 

A woman needs to do many things and purchase many products to be pleasant for and keep a man or even be able to stand being around herself for God's sake.  She must bathe with special soap, frequently cleanse internally, use special sprays, powders and deodorized products for her special time of the month.  There's so much to remember to do and purchase to keep "it" under control, it's a wonder we have the nerve to leave our homes at all.  It would probably be more prudent to stay home when we are having "our friend", not leave our beds and surround ourselves in a shroud of darkness until it passes.  Then we can put the trunk full of products away, use double the amount of cleanses, sprays and powders to get presentable for the world again and re-enter society.  I've often wondered if we shouldn't just stitch the damn thing closed and be done with it....

Marketing Boomer Babies Upcycles is hard work and requires much more time than I ever imagined when I started out on this adventure.  There's SEO, metatags, relevancy, etsylush, photography, relisting, facebook, backlinks, blogs etc., etc.  Etsy is nothing like Ebay where you just throw up a listing, do nothing and  bidders are just there at the final hour.  I have no desire to leave the refined atmosphere of Etsy for the rabid pigpile huge yardsale atmosphere of Ebay, but I must admit it was easier on Ebay to put a little jingle in my pocket.  Etsy shops take a tremendous amount of committment and time to make them work.  I'd like to meet the marketing team that convinced women that they are stinky, smelly, oozing, leaky, vile out of control creatures that absolutely must purchase an arsenal of products to ever have one ounce of confidence in themselves.  I'd like to be able to quit my day job and take off with Sputnik......



  1. Interesting take:-)

    And I'm with you - would love to walk away from my day job, considering the amount of time I'm putting in my handmade shop. One day...

  2. I always look forward to your blog posts, you can brighten any day.

  3. this is great post ! like your wit and way of thinking
    and Drink coffee poster is just awesome.

  4. It really is amazing how women are marketed to...when you actually think about it, mass media marketing aficionados play off of notions of female insecurities. Sometimes I wonder if marketing campaigns *create* said insecurities.

    You are a very talented writer. I found the link to this post on the Etsy blog team forum and I'm so glad I clicked on it! I will be following your blog and look forward to more from you!

  5. Great post again! You speak the truth with such humor. And for the record, I'd walk away from my day job in a heartbeat so I could create all day long if I could! You never know, maybe someday soon?

  6. The cover is blown once woman write truthfully (and humorously) about such topics...thanks for speaking out!

  7. I so agree with you! I have boys, but my good friends have girls who are just reaching the age where these insecurities will start to play out.

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